


Where the Heart is

by Veritea



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27107311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veritea/pseuds/Veritea
Summary: When Adora left the Fright Zone (and Catra), Catra chucked her soulmate journal into an air vent and resolved to leave it there for as long as she needed to. After all, she didn’t need any extra reminders about what (who) she’d lost.After Horde Prime has been defeated and Etheria is at peace, though, she decides to go back to the Fright Zone and get it.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 104
Collections: Catradora Soulmates Zine





	Where the Heart is

Back when Catra had been a Horde cadet, there had been a rumor circulating that the storage area of the Fright Zone was inhabited by vengeful ghosts of princesses that had fallen in battle against the Horde. The area certainly looked like the kind of place that would be haunted. It was filled with crates and barrels that cast long shadows across the floor, and there were endless nooks and crannies for an angry ghost to hide before launching an attack on its unsuspecting victim. 

Catra knew that the story was just that—a rumor. Ghosts weren’t real. Once you were dead, you were gone, and nothing could bring you back. 

She had to admit, though, the shadows were unnerving enough to make someone believe in the supernatural. 

She grabbed a crate and shoved it against one of the walls of the storage area, climbing on top of it and reaching for the cover of an air vent that was directly above her head. Below her, Melog was walking around, sniffing at the various containers cautiously. 

She wrenched the vent cover off and let it fall onto the floor with a clatter. Reaching inside the air vent, she felt for the soft leather of her soulmate journal. 

It was in there somewhere. She remembered the day she had put it there perfectly— it had been the day when Adora had joined the Rebellion and left the Horde. 

Left her soulmate. Left  _ her _ .

She had assumed that Adora’s departure would hurt less if she just severed her ties with her. She had been wrong. It hadn’t helped at all. Still, because she was stubborn, the journal had remained in the air vent until now. 

As stupid as it was, she almost didn’t want to look over the journal again, even after all the months that had passed and the things that had changed. But there was no going back now. After all, Perfuma was always talking about coming to terms with yourself. If reading through her journal was going to help her do that, then she was going to try. 

She gritted her teeth and felt her fingers close around something rectangular. Pulling it out of the vent, she brushed the cover off. 

There it was. Exactly as she’d left it, albeit a lot dustier. 

She hopped down from the crate and sat down, leaning against the wall. Melog padded over and placed its head on her knee as she stared at the cover. 

She couldn’t remember getting her soulmate journal, but she did remember what had happened when she and Adora had found out that they were soulmates. Adora had been ridiculously excited. Her blue eyes had shone as she’d prattled on and on about how the two of them were going to stay with each other forever and become the best force captains the world had ever seen. 

Her excitement had been infectious. Catra had joined in with Adora’s ambitious plans, and the two of them had spent the next few days marveling about the fact that they were soulmates. Their world had been so small and uncomplicated. Outside their little bubble, things had always been darker and more frightening, but none of it had mattered in the end. 

They were soulmates, and they could always come back to each other. 

Melog nudged her arm, giving her a look. 

“Give me a second. I’m not going to chicken out or anything.”

She gave the cover another long look before flipping to the first page. Almost immediately, memories began flooding back. 

At the top of the first page, Adora had written her name in shaky block letters, and at the bottom, Catra had written hers. That part had been Catra’s idea. Even though Adora had claimed that the gold symbols on the cover already said their names, she had wanted a confirmation of the fact that they belonged together. Preferably in a language she knew how to read. 

Adora and Catra. Catra and Adora. 

She smiled a little. Melog purred contentedly, its tail swishing back and forth. 

The next couple of pages were full of doodles and scribbled words and phrases. At one point, they had tried drawing each other in the middle of the night because neither of them had been able to sleep. Their lack of artistic ability and good lighting hadn’t made a good combination, and the portraits looked ridiculous. Adora’s hair poof was humongous and Catra’s ears were positioned way too low on her head. After they had shown each other the portraits, they had burst into giggles, trying unsuccessfully to stay quiet so that they wouldn’t wake the others. Miraculously, everyone else had remained asleep, and they had eventually curled up against each other and dozed off. 

More memories began to surface as she flipped through the journal. Melog watched intently as she continued looking through the pages, occasionally snorting at something dumb or funny they had written. 

Then she turned another page and froze.

Two pages were taken up completely by three words: ‘I hate you’. Each letter was dark and angry. 

She remembered writing that. She’d scrawled it down after she had returned to the Fright Zone the day Adora had joined the Rebellion. 

Hesitantly, she picked up the pen that was attached to the side of her journal and drew a single line through the words. 

“It’s about time I did that, huh?” She whispered to Melog, who looked pleased.

Then she went to the next page and began reading Adora’s reply, which was only a few sentences long.

_ Catra _

The letters were scratched into the paper, so deep that they had each left a small indentation. 

_ Really? You’ve got the nerve to say that you hate  _ me _ , after everything that happened? I asked you to come with me! I want you to be here, fighting with the Rebellion. Everyone’s so nice, and I know that they’ll welcome you like they welcomed me. _

_ Why won’t you just listen to me? _

_ You can’t be right about everything. _

_ You know what? Forget it.  _ _ I need to stop making excuses for you. You’re being a jerk and it’s about time that I realized it. _

She stiffened, reading the last two sentences over and over again. Melog sat up and nudged her shoulder. 

“What?!” She yelled, snapping the journal shut. “She’s  _ right. _ She’s always right. I’m leaving. I don’t know what I was expecting to find written in this stupid thing, anyway.” Hot, angry tears blurred her vision and slid down her cheeks. She wiped them away and glanced at the journal again. 

A wave of rage crashed over her and she picked up the journal and threw it against the opposite wall. It hit a crate and landed on the floor with an unsatisfying thunk. 

She was going to leave the journal behind again. What was the point in having it? It couldn’t do anything for her. It couldn’t get rid of the dreams that made her wake up in a cold sweat. It couldn’t banish the visions of a woman with flowing pink hair and huge wings turning to mist while glaring at her. It didn’t matter how many times people told her that she was changing or that she shouldn’t let her mistakes define the rest of her life. 

They were wrong. 

She deserved to pay for the things she said; the people she’d hurt. She deserved it all. 

Trying to control her breathing, she looked around the storage area. 

Melog glanced at her worriedly before padding over to the journal and nudging it open with its snout. After some trial and error, it managed to flip open to the page it wanted, which was completely blank. 

As she watched, however, letters began forming on the paper.

Despite herself, she got up and slunk over, picking up the journal and reading the newly written words.

_ Hey, Catra. _

Adora paused before continuing. 

_ It’s been a while since I wrote in here, huh. _

_ So about what I said before—I didn’t really mean it. _

She paused again, this time for a bit longer. 

_ Actually, I did. I did then. But not now. Not anymore. _

_ I’m repeating myself, aren’t I. _

She let out a slow exhale and smiled a little. Then she sat down, uncapped the pen attached to her journal, and began writing right under where Adora had left off. 

_ Yeah. You are. _

Adora’s reply was instantaneous. 

_ Catra?? Where are you? I looked all over the castle and I couldn’t find you or Melog. Did you get kidnapped again??? _

_ I’m in the Fright Zone. _

_ Oh. Wait. What. _

_ You know, Adora, you’ve really got a way with words. _

_ Didn’t you tell me a while ago that you lost your soulmate journal somewhere? Did you leave it in the Fright Zone or something? _

_ No, I put it in a secret compartment on one of the skiffs and then sent it into space. _

_ Skiffs can’t go into space. _

_ The ones Entrapta designed can. _

_ Wait a second. Entrapta designed new skiffs? I thought she was working with first ones’ tech while she was with the Horde. _

_ It’s a joke, Adora. _

There was a long pause on Adora’s end. 

_ I don’t like you. _

_ That’s because you love me. _

_ Ok, you win. I do. Now can I finish what I was saying before? _

_ Why not. _

_ Ok. So. _

She wrote something down, but before Catra had a chance to read it, she scribbled over it. Then a torrent of words began flowing from her pen.

_ I know we haven’t really had a chance to talk about everything that happened while you were with the Horde. I mean, we talked a lot while we were traveling around the universe but we didn’t  _ actually _ talk? I mean, Bow said it was supposed to be a vacation because we all almost died to Horde Prime so we kind of needed some down time. But now we’re back in Etheria and I’ve been meaning to ask you how you were doing?? Now I sound like Perfuma. That’s not a bad thing. Ok. None of that made sense. Am I making sense? _

_ Kind of. _

_ I’m going to start over again. Why’d you track down your journal? _

_ Why  _ had _ she tracked down her journal? _

_ You wouldn’t understand. _

_ If I won’t understand, who will? _

She stared down at the pages for a second. Then Melog gave her an encouraging nudge and she took a deep breath. 

_ I’m trying to understand how I became a monster. That’s why. _

_ You’re not a monster! Sure, you did some bad things, but that was because _

_ No. Don’t try to make excuses for me. I had a choice. I always did. I should’ve done something differently. I could have done something, but I didn’t, and I never took any of the chances I had. Double Trouble was right. Scorpia was right. You were all right, but I was too much of an idiot to see _

_ You’re not a monster, Catra. You’re right. A lot of things you did were wrong. But you can’t just go back in time and make different choices. You can do something different now, though.  _

She paused for a moment.

_ The whole universe is healing, and I know you can too. _

Could she?

Sometimes she felt herself slipping back into the part of herself that wanted nothing more than power and strength, no matter what cost it came at. As the days and weeks after the war flew past, though, she could feel that desire slipping away and resurfacing less and less. She no longer needed power. She had people who cared about her. People who teased her and wrapped her into bone-crushing hugs she was beginning to enjoy. People who reassured her when she was upset or discouraged. 

Someone who loved her. 

And they weren’t the only ones who wanted her to be better. She wanted it too—more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. When she had been in the Horde, she had told herself that her only desires were to become Force Captain, play pranks on Kyle, and maybe, if she was lucky, get Adora to kiss her. Just once. 

She no longer wanted any of those things. Except for the last one. 

She’d accept kisses from Adora any day. 

_ Catra? Did you fall and hit your head or something? _

_ I’m sitting on the floor. _

_ Yeah, but did you? _

_ I’m fine. And you’re right. I’m going to head back to Bright Moon now. _

_ FINALLY. It’s been more than two hours and I’m already lonely :( _

_ Wow, you really got used to having me around. It’s barely been one hour. _

_ An hour and a half. _

_ Whatever. I’m leaving. _

_ I’ll see you at home, ok? _

_ Ok. _

She snapped the journal closed and smiled a bit, running a hand over the cover. Maybe it had been kind of helpful after all. 

Getting up, she shot a smirk at Melog. 

“I bet I could win if we raced to the Whispering Woods. You’re probably even slower than Adora is.”

It glared at her, its mane turning red and spiky with irritation. Then, without warning, it dashed out the door. 

“Hey!” She hollered, gripping the journal a bit tighter before racing after it. “You can’t have a head start!”

Soon, she lost sight of it completely, but she kept going. Within a few minutes, she was outside, the grass that now covered the Fright Zone tickling the soles of her feet. 

Melog was nowhere to be found, so she looked around, trying to spot it. Her search ended abruptly when it leapt onto her and knocked her to the ground. 

She glared over at Melog, who was sitting on top of her and looking very smug. 

“I hate you,” she groaned. 

It cocked its head to the side. 

“Don’t look at me like that. You know I’m joking.”

Satisfied, Melog got off her. Sitting up, she sighed, picked up her journal from where it had fallen onto the ground, and scratched Melog behind the ears. It purred contentedly as she turned her attention to the sky above them, impossibly blue and dotted with clouds. 

“Come on. Let’s go home.”


End file.
